Paul’s letter to Philemon, Philemon or Philemon is one which doesn’t come up in the Lectionary very often. And due to its subject matter regarding slavery, perhaps the Church has been happy that it was rarely read in Sunday worship—especially in this past century. We know from even a brief survey of American history that Scripture was used to condone slavery, and this particular letter was likely part of that justification.
Thankfully, however, Paul’s reputation and that of Holy Scripture can be vindicated if we are simply willing to actually read what the letter is about—namely self-sacrifice and reconciliation.
Paul, as we know, is writing to a fellow Christian (Philemon) on behalf of the man’s escaped slave Onesimus. What we can gather from the context of the letter, Onesimus had somehow had a falling out with his master Philemon. We can guess that there may have even been some financial implications to this disagreement, and Onesimus had gone away and somehow came to know Paul. Onesimus is then converted and, perhaps at Paul’s urging, looks to be reconciled with his master, and now, brother in Christ…
Things between Philemon and Onesimus were at the very least touchy. In his letter, Paul recognizes that Philemon believed Onesimus to be useless—but Paul writes that the man had become invaluable to him in his time in prison. But what Paul asks of Philemon runs contrary not only to justifications for slavery, but even contrary to human nature. Paul asks Philemon not only to receive Onesimus back, but also to be reconciled with him and greet him as a brother…
We really do not know to what extent Onesimus had offended his master—again we get a few small hints, but nothing to really make a case. What we do know however is our own experience of being hurt or betrayed. In this case we have no problem putting ourselves into Philemon’s place—or maybe we feel more like Onesimus who continues as a fugitive soul waiting to be redeemed. Wherever we find ourselves, we know that the price of relationship is sacrifice to the end that we may be reconciled. To whatever degree we have been hurt or have hurt others, we know the burden most when forgiveness and reconciliation needs to happen.
There are a few organizations which specialize in what is known as “Restorative Justice.”Restorative justice is a process by which victims and offenders meet to the end that both may try to have some closure to whatever event they were involved in. This work is used from everything as small as verbal bullying in schools to murder.
It seems an odd thing because it’s not just counter-cultural, it’s counter-human-nature. But even for those who are most skeptical of the process they find in the end that the closure is worth all of it. There are even times when these interactions end in some forgiveness and reconciliation.
There was one story in particular in which a woman whose husband had been murdered wanted to see and meet her husband’s murderer. The police had agreed to this in hope for more evidence to surface against the man.
The woman’s husband had been brutally beaten by a group of young men when he had heard a loud party going on at his neighbor’s house who was supposed to be out of town. When he went to check things out, he was attacked and eventually died from the beating.
After something like 5 years, and an extensive investigation, this woman got her wish. As soon as this man, who had been 17 at the time of the murder, sat down, he began to weep. He began saying over and over again that he didn’t mean to do it. The woman said that she found herself telling him that everything was going to be alright in the end.
As she left the room, she could see that the man was still being filmed in the room and that he was still crying. She found out the day of the meeting that the man had written letters of apology to her and her children. As she watched him continue to weep, she became overcome with the feeling that she didn’t want him to have to be alone in that room.
In the end, he pled guilty and is serving his sentence. As for the woman, she is planning to start an education program to help adolescents avoid the same fate as her husband’s murderer by staying away from substance abuse—a key player in her husband’s murder. She even added that she hoped someday that this man would join her in her work.
When I read things like this story, I’m encouraged that there is still so much good in humanity. I get a charge out of the thought that there could be more than just reform in our justice system, but reform in our hearts that we could see justice done. But honestly, when it comes to forgiving or even being forgiven myself, I don’t know that I can always deliver with the kind of grace that we see in stories like this one.
Thankfully, learning how to be reconciled and how to forgive is exactly what Christian faith is about. Whether we are speaking of Jesus reconciling us to God, or the grace that we’re given to struggle to live in one Spirit—we never stop learning and practicing this spiritual gift.
There are times, of course, when our prayers for grace and acceptance seem to go unanswered. Sometimes our best attempts are shunned and our hand (olive branch and all) gets slapped away. But if we’re willing to practice the gift, and continue to strive for reconciliation, we may find that our own hearts are changed even if the other person seems unmoved. But then, I also believe that God is a God of hard cases and eventually even the tough ones come around. All the same it can be a tough road getting there…
Reconciliation is not easy work because it asks us to look within ourselves—it holds a mirror up to us and asks us to really see who we are that we can see how incomplete we are. At its core, the work of reconciliation is not the stuff of casual or trendy Christianity because it demands sacrifice. If there is any question of that cost we need only look to Good Friday as proof—there is always a cost. However, like Good Friday, that story doesn’t end until Easter morning with the glorious resurrection. If we can trust and try to be reconciled, we may find our relationships are resurrected as well.
We don’t know how the story ends, but Onesimus was willing to be reconciled to a master he had wronged, because he trusted in the grace of Jesus Christ. So perhaps for those of us who need to be forgiven and reconciled, or even those of us who need to forgive—perhaps we can trust that there’s some grace for us too.
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